I
Didn’t Say
The chill of the night air started to go through the window cracks. I was lying on my bed, trying to close my eyes and make myself fall asleep. For some reasons, tonight it was hard to close my eyes. I see around my room, and sat down next to my bed. Maybe drinking hot tea will help me fall asleep, I thought.
I immediately got out of bed and headed for the kitchen. As I walked through my dad room. I saw dad is diligently completing the work. I continued to watch as he turned to me. At his 48 years old, his black hair was covered by gray. 24 years he spent the time to provide for his wife and children.
Dad! He is the only man who I love in this world. The figure of a man who was always proud of. Perfect father figure in my eyes. He taught me to be humble. Suddenly there is a push for him, hugged him, kissed his cheek and said, "I love you dad" All my life I have never said. Somehow I never could afford that I loved him very much. Maybe because I'm so embarrassed to express my love to my parents. The phrase often want me to say but I'm not able to say. Notice me, dad turned, turned and smiled at his daughter standing in front of his office door. "Chiara, why not sleep?" Said dad, taking off his glasses. I walked toward him. "Dad why did not sleep," I asked, glancing at his laptop screen displays slides from Power Point program. "Dad is preparing material for presentation tomorrow morning." Dad said as he massaged his neck. Impulse to say "I love Daddy" as if in a hurry I told him. I opened my mouth and the courage to say it. "dad .. I want to tell you that .. I. .. I. .. I'm sleepy. I wanna go bed, Dad.. "I was surprised to hear the sentence that came out of my mouth, the sentence was not the same as what I was thinking. Then I saw Dad nodded and I went on before him.
I went back to my room and regretted what I said. I felt annoyed at myself. In my heart I questioned my fear. TELL ME WHY NOT? HE IS MY daddy, WHAT thing ACTUALLY I afraid of? I saw the ceiling a dark room and trying to entertain themselves by saying maybe tomorrow morning I have the courage to say so. Yeah Dad tomorrow morning before going to work!
"Chiara, wake up!" Mom noise woke me up. "Chiara hurry up you can late to school" after I opened my eyes, I saw the clock on the wall. 06.00. Oh no! I oversleep! Quickly, I prepare myself for school. When out of the room to see Dad in his room, i saw him in his room. Net. There was no one there! "Dad had left, mom," I asked as he took the brown bread on the table. "Yes daddy had to leave at 5 early this morning." Mom replied. "5 o'clock" I said with disappointment. Mom disturbing. "Today there was a meeting at 7.30 Dad." I was silent for a moment, felt disappointed that my plan failed last night. "Let's hurry you'll be late" said Mom destroy my mind. I spent the rest of my food and go to school.
After school, and arrived at the house. "Mom ..." I say spoiled. "My daughter had gone home. How was that? are you late? "Mom asked a little worried. "Almost too late mom, but fortunately I was able to catch up with the fast city streets. Hehe so do not be late "I replied with a triumphant face is not too late for school. "change your clothes and have lunch. I wanna take shower first" when we wanted to enter the room, suddenly the phone ringing
"Hello." I say
"Hello, sist Shila ?" voice aunty Santi, dad’s sister replied.
"No aunty, this is Chiara. Mom is bathing "
" oh Chiara. Chiara who are you home with?"Said aunty Santi with an unusual tone.
"With Mom, aunty," I replied.
"There has not been anyone there?"
"Is not no one here. Just me and mom, what's going on Auntie? "I began to suspect.
"No nothing, i’m on my way to your house." she said later. I can shut down the phone without asking a lot. I began to wonder to myself. Anty Santi living in Bandung suddenly into my house without giving the news the day before arrival. After 20 seconds later the phone rang again. This time from Uncle Sam, Dad's brother. "Chiara What was happened?" Asked Uncle Sam is very anxious. "What was happened?” I asked back. "Yes what was happened? You do not know what’s happened? Few minutes ago grandmother and other relatives called Uncle Sam, all asking you and your mom, and now they all are heading your home. Your right it does not matter, "asked Uncle Sam anxiously. "I'm okay uncle," I assured him. "Mom and dad? 'I saw mommy who is still wearing a towel, standing behind me. "Who is it Chiara?" Mom asked curious, I immediately handed the phone to Mom algae. "Hello" "Oh, Sam. What was happened? I’m here with Chiara. Nathan was still in office. I equally Chiara fine. What was happened Sam? "Mom asked suspiciously. "Oh, alright" Then Mom put the phone into place. "Why Mom," I asked after she hung up the phone. "Uncle Sam will come over here" said Mom. I'm afraid to hear the sound Mom "Mom what's wrong? Why does everyone want to come here? Aunty Santi had the phone and he also said he wanted to come here ". "She also did not know Chi" Dad Suddenly a shadow passed in my mind without thinking long, I picked up the phone. "Who do you wanna call Chiara?" "I want to call Daddy" "Don’t do that Chiara! Dad you're working. Sorry if disturbed! "Said Mom. I paused for a second to hear the words of Mom but then I did not pay attention. I tried to call the dad’s phone. The phone is connected but not answer. Suddenly I became curious, so I pressed the redial button. Now the phone is picked up. There is a sense of relief in my chest. But it was not long, I started to worry when I heard not the voice of Dad. "Hello," I said calmly and worry. No one answered. "Hello Dad," I yelled. Then the next sound I heard was the sound of a man who says "this phone call from his daughter" "shut it!" Said another male voice. "Hello, who is this? Where is my Dad? Dad! Dad! "Yelled louder. Then the phone cut off again. I tried to contact him again, while Mom no wonder to me. And now his phone is connected to a voice mail. Not a good sign. A knock door startled me. With half ran Mom opened the door and I followed the Mom from behind. Instantly grandmother embrace mom. "w2hat happened mom?" Mom stared at her with the views asking-wondering. "What's actually happened, Auntie?" At the moment I asked in a high voice. Aunty Santi tight-lipped with look on facial who is being grieving. "what happened with my daddy, Aunty?" "Earlier morning ... when Dad is being Percentage ... Cell Dad get a heart attack, "said Aunt Santi slowly. Is like struck by lightning I'm hear it. I stood up fell silent and staring at Aunty Santi. "Now how was Daddy?" I asked, with voice vibrating withstand blubbering. Santi aunt did not answer me. She only hug me into in his arms. While grandmother hugged Mom who crying hysterical.
I stood in front tombstone. Funeral has been finished 2 hours ago, but I'm still stand alone in front of funeral Dad. My tears continued to flow. There remorse which very strong in the liver and my mind. Remorse lifetime will always be follow me. Why not I said sentence it, when I was got a plenty a chance for say it? Now it's too late. As much as any regrets, it would not be able to restore Dad to my side. Now Dad has been was sound asleep in the immortality, peaceful in his arms. Petition sorry, a sense of gratitude and sentence "I fondly Dad" not had time to unspoken. I'm inhaling breath within-inside. I tried hold back water eyes who flowed profusely anymore. Ago with gentle and hearts-the liver wipe tombstones before me who written name of Dad. I'm trying smiled and I say with spirit of "I fondly Dad."
-SAD
ENDING-
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